Lonely.

dude. sunday afternoons suck.

Reasons I'm lonely:

1- I have time to think about the fact that I'm lonely. I don't have an exam tomorrow, or a patient to prepare for at 6am in the morning, or anything else allcompassing that must be done in the next 24-48 hours.
2 - I won't see the kid until Wednesday afternoon. I didn't realize this until I was driving away from dropping him off this morning. I did a good job of being a mom last night and this morning, I want a chance to do the goodbye a little better.
3 - It's Father's Day and my dad is dead. I miss him a lot. I wish that could be softer or cuter or not as true. but there it is.
4 - I've spent several hours in the nursing school building, essentially alone. The AC is pumping and I'm cold! Campus on a Sunday is a weird place to be.
5 - I am starting to feel the weight of the boxes. I'm back to that miscellaneous box stage that I got to with the packing, where I didn't seem to be able to impose order and just threw stuff into a box based on the fact that it was all in one corner of the room. Well, now I have to unpack those boxes. And my bedroom is blissfully free of clutter at the moment. It also doesn't have a single book on the shelves, or any other of furniture, but it's cool. I'm not so motivated to start flinging shit back into the corners of the house, but I'm also tired of looking at the boxes.
6 - I finished re-reading Eragon last night. Since the move, I've re-read The Memory Keepers Daughter and Year of Wonders, too. Finishing a book is such a weird experience. Imagine being a kite, hanging with all the other kites, and having a fabulous time in the wind and playing and the colors and the sun! And then the person holding your string just lets go and walks off.
7 - My friend is out of town this weekend. I didn't realize how often I talk to her until I'm not talking to her.



Day 10 of Wellbutrin is still good. Day 6 was pretty jittery, and I managed to drink a venti latte on the day that I bumped from 150mg to 300mg, which wasn't so smart, but overall, I'm good. Still smoking. We'll see about that next week.

Made an 84 on the first Med-Surg exam, which is really disappointing to me. This first exam is weighted less, though, so if I can actually take the experience as a learning one, then I'll be good. I missed questions that seem so obvious when I went back over the test with the professor - that's hard because it seems that all I need to do in the future is just read the test more carefully, but if I could do that, then wouldn't I have done it this time? sigh.

Had a week off of clinicals this week and used the time to study for a Pharm exam. Hopefully that paid off, and I did feel like I actually learned some stuff. I crammed antimicrobials, but I actually learned the cholinergic and adrenergics, which seems to be a good choice for which to cram and which to know.