Thursday, April 19, 2007

dude. so much to say.

worked all weekend last weekend. skipped class this morning because I stayed up all night watching a disk of House. had a mini-crisis (almost entirely self-created) last week because I hadn't done an assignment that was worth 50 points of a 1000 point class average. At the same time, it was a 6-8 page care plan for a stroke patient - you know, integral skills to have for the field! The stuff that I'll be doing non-stop from here on out in nursing school! eep. Eighteen mini-panic attacks later, I turned it in, not even late, and complete with all five journal articles, cited in APA format. This time the payoff for resolving the drama that I created wasn't so good, didn't really feel worth it. fuckit.

Finally went to Campus Health to put my cloudy, smelly urine in a cup and find out if it's a uti without the pain and burning (i've been symptomatic for about a year now, and have only recently had health insurance and easy access to a clinic to see someone. Can we say functional limitations in healthcare?) Starting cipro today and I even managed to advocate for a follow-up urine sample to be ordered to ease my mind that it is resolved with the drugs.

Signed a lease on a passive solar apartment yesterday - wow oh wow it is cool! big windows, brick floors, W/D, and no pet rent. exactly what I wanted, although not on the side of town I was hoping for.
May is looking a little crazy-making - finals the first week, a much belated birthday party for the kid the second week. The semester starts (with my first clinical rotation!!!) and later that afternoon, I'm leaving for a four day retreat in the mountains in the third week, and then I'll get to pack and move before June 1. sigh. I really don't understand how I've been able to pay a security deposit before the summer fin aid dispersement.

found out this weekend that one of the cool kids from work is going to join the Army for six years. I teared up, and then handed him my address like I was in the third grade and had just found out my family was moving to Georgia. I was embarrassed, and sent this email today. Still a little embarrassing, but it feels resolved now.
Hey R!
I saw you on campus the other day, and realized I could look up your email through the campus directory. I wanted to apologize for throwing a little tantrum the other night. It was such a shock to realize that I wouldn't see you again at work (and since that's the only place I see you of course, then it's not likely that we'll meet again). I was a little surprised at how upset I was, and didn't really know what to say (or what was appropriate to share without being creepy and weird, you know?).
It's odd to think about the loss of a close acquaintance - you are someone that I'm always happy to see, and who I really enjoy talking with. I like the way that you are sarcastic, but not often nasty (probably since I think that I tip that balance too often toward just being rude, as opposed to funny or clever). You manage irony without being an asshole - which is a rare gift, it seems. I think that you're crazy smart and genuinely a sweet person. You remind me of my kid in a way (and I know that's weird to say - and possibly to hear) and that's most of the reason that I was upset to hear you are going into the Army. I don't know anyone personally who is serving in the military right now - and so I'm privileged to be (sarcastically) academic and removed from the whole situation.
My dad was in the Marines, mostly before I was born, and I know that it was important to him to enlist, and to serve his time. I also know that he was a unspeakably different person after having served than he would have been without the experience of service in Vietnam, and I usually think of the loss of innocence, the gain of the burden of seeing horrible things. I don't really have a concept of the other more positive pieces that he spoke about regarding his service - the discipline, the feeling of being a part of something that made a difference, the actual 'service' part of serving the country. I had this irrational hope that time could be just frozen, that we could just talk when I happen to work with you, and talk about how ridiculous the world (and the restaurant) is... The thought of you being at the whim of the nutbags running this country's military takes my breath away, truly. At the same time, I want to say that I support your decision, since I know that you've thought it through carefully, and I feel like you have the strength to handle the experience. Other than having a kid, I've never done something like this that so immediately and profoundly affects my life.
I would be proud if my son grew up to be like you.
I wish you all the best. I'd be happy if we kept in touch - it would be good to know how you are doing.

with love, kati

Yep, it's officially reiterated - I'm a geek.

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