Wednesday, December 19, 2007

pardon me - is that a mushroom on your head?

sigh. instead of writing a resolution on diversity or safe patient handling for the NSNA convention, I'm researching hairstyle pictures to take to my stylist this afternoon.

short bob hairstyle

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Tidings of Comfort and Joy!

Sparkly! Brilliant! Mysteriously beautiful! This has been truly a lovely weekend.

Saturday, I got to spend a pleasant hour discussing my son with his father. This is surprisingly pleasant, and although I was brusque when he started to wax squarmily poetic about the joy of parenthood, we had an excellent parenting meeting.

Then, I took my Lane Bryant coupon and presented myself at the mall to buy some pants. Everything in the store 40% off! Don't mind if I do! I left with three pairs of excellent pants (two of those super wide leg pants that I think will become my new business-wear uniform), a beautiful blue French cuff button down shirt, a black tank, a gorgeous burgundy cardigan that buttons to the solar plexus then gets all tunic-y and reminds of the sweater from The Golden Compass when she meets Yurik for the first time, ten pairs of exciting socks, three bras, and one linen top for the spring. $400 worth of stuff for $178. wow. I'm really shocked that I spent almost 2 franklins on retail clothes, but it will also last me for a while! I'll need to get a jacket before the next NSNA convention in Texas, but otherwise, I'm set.

I had a chance to sing at a nursing home on Saturday afternoon. I was worried, because what sounded like a good idea via email is not always fun or rewarding in person. But it was a wonderful experience, and I witnessed excellent caregiving of the residents by the staff, and watched people really respond to our singing. I left considering working in a nursing home, something I've sworn I would never ever do so early in my career, for fear of burning out on a awful working environment. But I could do it, if I remember to sing regularly.

Then I came home and pulled the tags off my new stuff, and went to a friends for a ritual and Winter Solstice stone soup party. The ritual was lovely, and I got a chance to put words to my wish for the season: That we can experience quiet and be comforted, rather than continue to try to fill the silence every second. The soup was stunningly good - the hostess started with Progresso Tomato Basil and then everyone brought about a cup of a chopped veggie. It was hard for me to bring just one thing - I wanted to bring everything that I wanted in the soup, and then just eat that! I saw eggplant go in, and thought, oh well. I can still enjoy the salad. But it was good! very good!
I had a chance to sit at the table with three experienced nurses and talk about school and practice. It was really nourishing to listen to them speak of how their practice has changed and evolved over the years, and hear their encouragement of me. I also listened to a woman speak frankly of her past relationships, which have included women and men, and I was rather comforted by the normalizing way that she talked about it.

Then, I dashed through the rain to a Dances of Universal Peace gathering and danced and sang praises for an hour to Shakti, et al. There were about fifteen people there and six of them were men - which is wholly unheard of in my experience with spiritual gatherings. True, fifteen years of spiritual gatherings have been specifically women-only, and then other groups were often offshoots of that one, but even workshops or classes or whatevers, it's been mostly women. I was so comforted by the presence of these normal looking men, in their jeans and their flannel shirts. Somehow, I had hope to see them there, twirling and chanting.

Then this evening, the kid and I went to an annual Interfaith Celebration and had a lovely time. An acapella group sang a song called Star of Wonder and another about Dawn breaking in my soul and it was unspeakably lovely. Some lovely angel took the child to another room to make stars and I was able to actually particpate in the meditation, without constantly swatting the kids' hands to get him to stop rustling his aluminum foil on his candle.

And the weather is finally cold! Like, seriously cold! I might get a chance to wear that ridiculous long coat with the big fuzzy collar - kind of cold.

I'm full. Humming, happy and full.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

it's beginning to look a lot like...

hmmm. not christmas, for sure.

While I expect a certain amount of disruption in the normal routine of life because of my academic calendar, it seems the normal routine of life itself has been fundamentally altered lately. First, there was the whole - late Daylight Savings Time / early Thanksgiving - debaucle, and now, autumn weather in mid-December. I'm ready to watch that black balloon video again, and see if there's anything else I can unplug in my house, because this (waves hands dramatically to encompass everything currently happening globally) is not right.

My mood perfectly mirrors the weather here today. I'm out-of-sorts, rustly, chilly - but overall feeling quite pleasant. Just a bit lost with what to do with myself today. I know my breath is awful. Perhaps I'll begin with brushing my teeth.

The grades I was unsure of are posted, and I can stop refreshing Blackboard eighteen times a second to find out if I got the As and one B I expected. I did.

I can't bring myself to make another version of the list of things I should be doing. I have made that list so many times and on so many slips of paper, calendars and online forms...

The Cat Who Eats Himself is scabby again, and I guess that means I should add a trip to the vet to this list of things to do while I have some money.

I think I'm going to the video store and get Season 5 of Scrubs, and a packet of EmergenC, some cranberries, cherries, pecans, two acorn squash and a smoothie.

I'd really like to come back and talk about the semester academically. I do so much of that IRL that I forget to do it here. I'll forget it in a year if I don't. A year? Wait a minute!

I started the BSN program a YEAR ago. A YEAR!

Last December, I was scurrying around, in tears after the pre-orientation session, because I didn't know how I was ever going to get private health insurance (required), a TB test (required and $50 at the community clinic), three HepB shots (required and $75 apiece at the Health Dept) and my immunization record from when I was a kid (would my mom be able to find it or would I have to try to pay the Tennessee, Mississippi, and Georgia public school systems to send me my records?).

Wow. An entire year! I think that buys me a day off. I'll be in the couch if anyone wonders.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

done. but not done?

My final final was this morning, and my final paper was turned in at 4:48pm, just under the extended 5pm deadline. amazing.

I have had a weekend full of vomiting and lethargy, anorexia and fever. I crammed for each of these exams. I have things to say about each of them, in turn. But I really feel I have to say these things in the course evaluations first and foremost. It was a semester of extremes, to be sure - I want the professors that shone to know why I thought they shone, and the ones that fell flat to understand in what way the class went thump.

I'm really amazed that I am still awake and that I am not clutching myself and groaning any longer. I hate that phase of being acutely ill, when you know it will be over soon, but it seems possible that you might feel that awful for the rest of your life.

I was gonna donate platelets tomorrow, but I'm thinking that antibody reactions to platelets are already an issue and they aren't getting my pukey platelets. Give it a week.