Tuesday, June 3, 2008


friend: no assholes = good day

makes sense to me

me: well, as unpleasant as emptying an ostomy bag can be, wiping an adult's anus is worse.

I can't believe you've actually done that.

me: Dude. Get ready for a I've had the shittiest (literally!) day ever story. Settled in?

friend: uh oh

me: I have had this one patient for six days straight now. He is,hands down, the neediest, whiniest, and most - likely to be an abrupt asshole while you're holding his shit bag in your hand- adult I've ever met.
He has skin graft sites on his legs that are all crusted and oozing blood, and a abdominal wound on his belly about 4 inches across that leaks gastric contents onto his flesh several times a day.
So - he has a THOUSAND reasons that perfectly justify whining and crying.

friend: HOLY!

me: But everytime he screws his face up and whines, I feel like I have to physically hold my father back from getting down in his face and cussing him down the ground.
It's like dad's behind me, saying all manner of nasty shit, and I'm all, No, Dad, we're not going to say that to him right now. We're going to be matter-of-fact AND compassionate, and we're going to remember that he feels trapped in this room and scared of this pain.
And dad's all - Fuck that! Your kid can himself better than this little worm! Tell him to shut the fuck up and get his own goddamn toothbrush. Why isn't he emptying his own ostomy? Is someone going to do it for him at home? No, they are not!

friend: Hahahah, damn!

me: Jesus! I know! (this is the last thing!)
AND he's extremely hard of hearing, and he yells everything he says. Everything! So when he demands his toothbrush, or for me to rearrange his bag in his bed, or accuses me of taking away his important documents when I changed the bed, it's all at top fucking volume.
and in my head, I'm also yelling.
I actually feel a little better.

friend: Ewwwww!

me:venting via chat can be therapeutic as well.

friend: You should have a journal devoted solely to venting about these things.

wait, that's an excellent idea!

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