i hate nursing school.

I'm very happily in bed, staying up way too late to go to that silly walking tour of the wildlife preserve tomorrow at 8am and comforting myself by calling it silly and whining in advance about how early it starts.
I'm reading about scrotums and books and the controversy when the twain shall meet at bitch, ph.d. good stuff. reminds me that i need to actually get a hard copy of a wish list for reading started, instead of just thinking, Oo, I'd like to read that and then always feeling like I do at the video store, that there's tons of movies I've wanted to see, but not able to remember a single title.
And then the kid is all with the loud, irregular breathing. Honestly. Take last weekend's croup, a sleep study that found him to have moderate sleep apnea* last year and this week's content on Respiration in Health Assessment and I can barely fuck around on the computer anymore what with all the freaking out I'm doing mentally. Even if i muscle through and don't freak out right now, it'll just creep up on me randomly in the future when my defenses are down. Now I have to go google apnea again. Oh fuck! Was that Cheyne-Stokes!? this is not funny. it's not okay. I thought nursing student disease was when you were convinced that YOU have all the diseases you're studying, not your kid! me, fine. the kid - fuck this. i'm outta here.



* when the doc was concerned about his tonsil size and I was concerned about the number of times I hear him quit breathing before I fall asleep (nothing like your kid's desperate snort of apnea for an adrenaline rush!). His dad's sposed to be a CPAP machine himself. whee!