Sample Scripts (select all that apply)

Hi, Diety. I'm getting ready to go back onto the unit and I'm feeling scared shitless again. I would like to remember to breathe, and stay in the moment. I would like to remember that I have resources available to me when I feel over my head, and that I don't have to know everything or do everything - I only need to stay present for the patient, and provide kind competent care. I can cry when I get home tonight. Oh, and Diety, please don't let me fuck up.*

Hi, Ms. PatientsLast Name, my name is BattleAxe and I'll be working with StaffNurse taking care of you this morning. I'm a student nurse, and I am a little nervous. I'll try not to make any really dumb jokes.

Hi, Mr. PatientsLastName, good morning! I know it's oh-dark-thirty, but I need to inflate this blood pressure cuff around your arm and stick this thermometer in your mouth. Oh, you need to urinate? Well, just a moment, I need to finish counting your breaths. Oh, dear, I guess we'll go ahead and change these linens and get ready for a bath!

Hi, Ms. PatientsLastName. It's BattleAxe again. I'd like to take a lap around the halls with you in a few minutes, get you up and moving. Do you need to use the toilet before we - oh! My word! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that you had both legs amputated yesterday. I'll be right back, in a day or so, when I'm not so mortified, and talk at length about my annoying cats and roller-blading child.

Hi, StaffNurse. I'm going to follow you around this morning and watch while you do a thousand things that our textbooks said to Never Never Never Do. I'll ask you questions about the first three and then get tired and just make little notes on my index card for later. Don't be anxious or annoyed.

Hi, ClinicalInstructor. I'm going to stare blankly at you while you try to explain charting procedures to me, because I'm trying to figure out what's happening in the room across the hall. Later, I'll make the error that you were trying to point out to me in three new places on the charts and then apologize profusely. By the end of the shift, I will cry.

Hi, Mr. PatientsLastName. I'm barely making through this six hour chunk of time. It's been a long time since I've felt so inept and useless. I've gotten good at hiding out in the hallway, acting like I'm charting, or looking up medications in the drug book, so that I won't have to go back into your room and help you bathe because I'm too scared to ask you what exactly you'd like my help with. I keep forgetting that you have done this before, even if I haven't. If I could get over the idea that I have to look like an expert (even though I feel like a child who is scared of hospitals and sick people), then I might be able to breathe, and stay present in the moment and provide empathetic care to you.

Hi, Ms. PatientsLastName, it's BattleAxe again. I'll be leaving in a few minutes and I wanted to say thank you for letting me take care of you today. I really appreciate the way that you told you what you wanted, and helped me figure out how to navigate in the room today. I hope that your evening and the rest of your stay is smooth. Good night.



*with thanks to my mother-in-law, who listened to me whine today about how nursing school may be impossible, and who called me back to channel my father and tell me of Alan Shepard's prayer over an open mike.