Sunday, March 25, 2007

to be edited drastically...

mental blog topics:
All my dreams seem to be social nightmares. full of complicated situations to be navigated, characters that have long since dropped off the map for me IRL, but with whom I apparently have Unfinished Business. I wish for the kinds of dreams that Dumbledore talks of in Goblet of Fire - soar to the highest heights, and plunge to the depths of the ocean. But most of my thinking time is spent embroiled in this relational intrigue. I'm constantly trying to winnow out what to do next, not observing nature or visualizing spiraling galaxies and whatnot. I'd like to give my mind more visual food to create these dreams. Art, nature, imagined scenes, shapes.

Nursing in the blogosphere: One way that nurses are visible, at least to each other. talk about the small informal support networks that have always existed for nurses, and how those break down with certain types of mgmt or work scenarios, and how the breakdown produces much yowling and perceived stress. Do a lit review type deal on the relative visibility within the broader blogosphere (with minimal whining about how I don't like that word and don't really know how to go about surveying the wider context of blogs and what's popular, what's not). Personal relfection on audience and anonymity - my latest hairstyle, though quite relevant to me, and to my state of mind, and therefore to a diary style blog is completely off topic on a professionally based blog, issues of varying levels of personal disclosure and being open/flexible about what's "good", "professional", "valuable to the discussion of the topic". Considering the idea of taking this idea to the SON, hosting a conversation about it, delving into the issues of the listserv chaos, communication in today's world, etc. so, looking at the topic from a personal standpoint (anonymity and audience), a school perspective (how aware are other students that nursing blogs exist, am I the only one who sees them as a valuable resource for entering the profession with some context for the profession), and within the field of nursing itself (blogs as a tool for advocacy and change, personal support networks, visibility of the profession).

also on the list to do computer wise is revise that letter to barack - slash to bare bones. apology for not doing any of the things that I think of as integral citizen tasks. address ethical perspective that awareness of an issue creates imperative to action, and then acknowledge that apology is slightly disingenious, because I know that I have every right to be politically inactive. all my energy and efforts are (properly) spent on basic survival tasks. Discuss the "arrongance of power" idea, and how bullied I feel. Unlimited, constant information about what's wrong, things that raise my hackles and make me want to stand up and say something. Inspiration smothered by the volume and urgency of daily tasks of various roles of mother, student, employee, friend, daughter of changing families, volunteer. I'm sorry that I'm not doing xyz. I also know that I'm not because I am doing abc and abc are more urgent, though not necessarily more urgent, as the time management expert would remind me. what's worse, xyz often relate directly to abc, but I barely have it in me to handle the minimums for abc, much less go the extra mile to look long range for xyz. and then dick cheney speaks for the american people, I feel excluded and yet unable to insert myself in the dialogue. this is not new, and not unique to me. it's just that i'm finally figuring out why i feel as bad when i read about folks doing things that i agree with, and support, as when i read about htings I abhor and disagree with. I feel unable to do anything about either news. It's a ridiculous place to be in, within a country that is so proud of its democracy, its chance for every citizen to be heard. Ridiculous to feel guilty for not being a good citizen, when the systems that should be in place to allow me the time to participate are broken, and seemingly beyond repair. want me to work for this campaign? deliver groceries, please.

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